Language Barriers
by Queen Lucetta
Summary: Poor Marth, he's the only Japanese speaker on the roster. If only his buddy and fellow Japanese speaker Roy would come back.
1. The Boring Technicals

A/N: It's that time of year again, happy birthday Kara, I made a stupid crack fic based on that weird rp thing we did. I hope you like it, the cupcakes are coming too, I left a sheet. To anyone else who may be reading this, it's a dumb sort of crack fic that's loaded with inside jokes and nonsense, but read on if that kind of thing doesn't bother you I guess. It might not make a lot of sense, but eh. Have a nice day everyone!

* * *

The group of newcomers walked silently down the hallway of the Smash studio. None of them knew what to expect, as all they had received prior to coming was a letter that explained very little. Apparently they were going to be briefed on what was going on and what was expected of them. It was both exciting and terrifying, and the air around them was tense with anticipation. Once they reached the end of the hall, they were led into the fighter's lounge, which was currently set up as a makeshift theatre complete with free popcorn and sodas. The male Robin nearly had a heart attack when he saw a female version of himself already in the audience, but still opted to sit next to her to see if she was related to him, or a gender swapped version of him. Once everyone was seated, one of the staffers moved to the front of the room and tried to get everyone's attention.

"Alright, good morning everyone, good morning. I'm sure you all have a lot of questions. Let's get started. We at Smash team have gathered you all here to take part in Smash season four! You should all be very proud, as you'll represent your world to millions of adoring fans! Oh, how the crowds will cheer, you'll achieve celebrity status and become legends of entertainment…"

"Get to the point!" Dark Pit said bluntly.

"Er, yes, well, if you're all familiar with the show, you may have noticed that no matter how intense the battles get, no one ever sustains any injuries. Well, that's all thanks to our state of the art technology." As the staffer explained this, another was already in the process of distributing the microchips to all the newcomers. Shulk's face lit up with a child-like wonder in the presence of such interesting tech. No one else seemed particularly interested though. The staffer continued, "all you have to do is strap that onto your skin, it'll camouflage right away and you won't even notice it. Once you do, you'll be completely impervious to damage! Er, well, as long as you stay on set that is."

"But how does that work?" The Robins said in unison.

"That's a trade secret." It was an obvious dodge, but no one seemed that interested anyway. For now they'd trust that what they were told was the truth. "Anyway, when you enter one of our specialized set rooms while wearing that chip, you'll notice that the gravity feels a lot different than what you're used to. We'll let you get used to after this briefing, but right now we're about to drop the bombs, so you'd better get the chips on!" At that he took a step back, not that it would make a difference. He watched as the bewildered newcomers all scrambled to attach the chip. There never was any danger, because the staff wouldn't release the bombs until it was safe to do so. The last thing Smash team needed was a lawsuit after all. So when everyone was in the clear, the staffer pulled the sudden death lever and the bob-ombs rained down upon the new smashers. All of the newcomers were hit and ended up bouncing around until the momentum slowed. While they were all pretty rattled, no one was hurt in any way. After a few long seconds of confusion, the newcomers started trying to make sense of what just happened.

"Are you crazy?!" Dark Pit said, strapping on his electroshock arm and readying an attack.

"Calm down, you're fine." The staffer said, "everyone's alright yeah?"

"It would have been ideal to stretch in preparation for such an event." Wii Fit Trainer said plainly.

"That was fun." Palutena said with a smile.

"Ugh, the Monado didn't give a vision of this…" Shulk chimed in.

"Why do you need your stupid toy to think for you?! That guy TOLD you what was going to happen!" Dark Pit said, trying to vent his frustration and deciding that Shulk would be his punching bag for the time being.

Monado boy didn't react to the dark angel's belligerent ranting. The staffer continued then, "great! Now that you're all your toes, let's get you all acquainted with the type of fighting you'll be doing on the show." He gestured for everyone to stand and follow, which the disoriented smashers reluctantly did. They were led down the hall to the battlefield set. "Okay everyone, while we're on these sets, you have free range to be as vicious and violent as you want!"

"Oh really?" Dark Pit said, grinning evilly and looking slyly at Shulk. For some reason he was determined to smack around the Monado boy, possibly for being stupid earlier.

"Yes! Some things you should know first though, if you look at the walls, you'll noticed that they're coated with a substance that will react to your chip. It'll reset your damage and summon the rescue-copter to bring you back to the stage. Oh yeah! Even though you won't feel any pain, your chip will register all of the damage you take. You'll feel lighter and you'll get knocked back easier. Don't hit the walls, or the floor off camera or you'll lose a point. Oh yeah, and the person who knocked you to the wall will gain a point. You'll win if you have more points at the end of a match, or if you're playing survival, if you make your opponent lose all of their lives before they take yours…"

"That's great and all, can we fight now?" The disgruntled Dark Pit said.

"Err, sure, go ahead."

"Excellent."

The smashers moved around the set, noting the gravity and how easily they could move around. No one attacked, until Dark Pit came up behind Shulk and smacked him with the full force of his electroshock arm. Having been weakened from the bombs earlier, Shulk flew off the stage at breakneck speed and slammed against the wall. Everyone including Dark Pit was in shock, but seconds later some kind of device collected the Monado boy and brought him right back to the stage. Despite being completely unscathed, he was not happy. "Why you!" He jumped off the rescue-copter and charged at Dark Pit, who turned to run but couldn't quite get away from a full power backslash. Dark Pit never stood a chance.

After that, the dark angel returned with a vendetta against Shulk, but in his anger he accidentally shot one of the Robins, who didn't take kindly to that, so he charged up a thunder and shot it right at his aggressor, who flew away at the last second and the thunder instead hit Rosalina. She retaliated by launching Luma at him. It soon devolved into a dirty free for all, but at least everyone was well prepped.

Once everyone had amply indulged their violent side, some extra staffers arrived to show the newcomers to their rooms.


	2. The Acquaintanceship Begins

A/N: I'm going to keep this brief, but I will post another chapter per day at least until it's finished haha.

* * *

Their brief but very memorable intro into the Smash show had ended, and the two Robins and Lucina were now on their way to the Fire Emblem dorm. It was pretty easy to spot considering the Falchion insignia was emblazoned on the door, they were briefed on following this symbol since it would represent their particular group. The staffer left then, and they were ready to enter. A sense of unease came over them as they opened the door. No one knew what to expect.

Earlier that day, Marth and Ike had arrived and gotten situated. They already knew the drill, but they were curious about the three new rooms built in their dorm. Of course Marth hoped one of the suspicious new rooms belonged to Roy. For too long he had been the Japanese speaker on the show and he was sick of feeling isolated. Sure some of the staffers spoke his language, but he wanted comradery. He wanted to joke and chat and take it easy with someone who actually understood him. Surely one of the new rooms had to belong to Roy! Either that, or Ike had a gym or three to keep up that buff body he was now sporting.

Just then the doorknob twisted and Marth was at full attention. Ike was present but didn't seem too interested in the newcomers. All he did was turn his head. Painfully slowly, the door opened to reveal two white haired twins and what could possibly be a female version of Marth. The hero king was drawn to her for some reason, possibly because he could be related to her somehow, and thus more likely to speak his language. He acted fast, as if that would make a difference, ((Hello, I am Marth. Welcome to the show.)) He was clinging to the hope that at least one of them would understand him.

The three newcomers stared blankly for a second. Here was the hero king and the radiant hero, casually sitting around the dorm. Male Robin was the first to speak, despite not knowing what Marth had said. "Uh, hi."

"Welcome." Ike said. Since they didn't respond to Marth, perhaps all three of them were English speakers like him.

"Wait a second, you're Ike!" Lucina said with awe.

"I am, have you heard of me?"

"You're known as the Radiant Hero in my time. And this person, is he Marth?! The legendary Hero King?!" She was almost in full fangirl mode in the presence of such important historical figures.

Ike just shrugged in response. "He is, I suppose. I know his name is Marth, but not much else."

Lucina turned her attention to the hero king. He'd been listening the whole time and only picked up on his name. "Marth, it is an honour to meet you." She was near gushing with adoration. As a sign of such adoration, she wondered if she should bust out her disguise or not.

While Marth knew he was being addressed, he had no idea what was being said. He sighed and replied, ((I don't understand you.))

"Uh." Lucina said, equally confused by the language barrier. Marth just sighed.

"He speaks a different language." Ike said with a shrug. "I thought he might have been a Laguz, but I don't think so anymore, since I've never seen him transform."

"Oh." Lucina said in a disappointed tone. "Well anyway, it is an honour to meet you both. I look forward to fighting with you and against you."

"Me too, but you'd better now hold back! I'm no pushover!"

"Neither am I." Her hand instinctively went to Falchion's hilt. They locked eyes in anticipation, looking like they might lunge at each other at any second.

Just then though, two staffers entered the dorm. Robin, Robin and Lucina were started by the sudden intrusion but the veterans were beyond used to it by now. "Lucina, we're going to need you on the Delfino Plaza set." He glanced over to the other staffer, then back to Lucina. "Follow Marth, he'll know where to go."

((Marth, you're up. Delfino Plaza is where you're headed.))

((I think I remember where that is. I think I can find it.)) He got up then, and casually strode out of the dorm and down the hall.

The princess kept pace after him as he scanned the halls for the designated set. After a brief walk, Marth recognised the insignia and went right in. Lucina followed him. A staff member was there to guide Lucina into position, Marth already knew where to stand and what to do. "Alright! Places please!" One of the staffers said. At that, the lights came on and suddenly the set could be seen. Pit and Dark Pit were there too, with the dark angel looking slightly confused. The countdown began, and at 'GO!' Marth and Pit ran at each other. Lucina and Dark Pit seemed to stall as they were still getting their bearings.

The battle between the veterans immediately became fierce, the newcomers were in awe of the swiftness and precision of Marth and Pit's battle. Lucina snapped herself out of her awed stated and lunged at the dark angel, catching him off guard and knocking him back. Only Pit seemed to notice what was going on, Marth was completely focussed on taking down his opponent.

"Pittoo! Hold on! I'm coming!" The angel turned his back to Marth then, just quickly enough to smack Lucina with his upperdash arm. She naturally flinched, Marth caught sight of this and wondered if he should intervene. Instead he figured she could take care of herself. So instead of targeting the angel, he went after his much less experienced twin. He was an easy target to say the least.

With a single stab, Pittoo flew backward and landed in the water. He flailed helplessly as he had no training on how to deal with the water on set. "Oh no! Pittoo!" Pit immediately turned his attention away from Lucina and dove in after his clone. It ended in a struggle, Dark Pit crawling up Pit's arm trying to escape the water. In turn, Pit couldn't pull himself or Dark Pit out of the water, and they both ended up going down. Lucina watched as they hit the floor, and the scoreboard changed to show Marth at 2 points.

"Wow, nicely done, I can see why they call you the hero king."

Marth didn't respond, he turned his attention to the centre of the set. As the angel twins were returned to the stage, the hero king stood down. ((They'll be invincible for a few seconds, watch out.)) He stated, even if he knew she couldn't understand him.

Lucina naturally didn't heed his advice and started charging right at them. The temporarily invincible Dark Pit lunged at her with his arm, and Pit finished the job by smacking her up to the ceiling with his. The princess felt herself fall forward then, and hit the camera in front.

Marth facepalmed.

Once she returned to the set, she apologised to the hero king, but he wasn't paying attention to her. Naturally it would be up to him to hold their score since she couldn't be counted on to do anything. With the invincibility at an end, Marth began his assault yet again.

With only a few seconds left on the clock, Lucina opted to win back the point she lost by any means necessary. She charged in a similar fashion, trying her hardest to match the hero king's movements. His were quicker and more precise, but she figured following his lead would be her best strategy for now.

As the timer counted down less than a minute, the veteran fighters seemed to up their game. All of a sudden, Pit seemed to get an idea, and flew up while gesturing for his partner to follow. "Pittoo! I know how to defeat them!"

"Oh yeah?" He appeared to be disinterested as he followed up, but he was secretly all ears.

"You electroshock them over to me, off the stage, and I'll jump on their heads and they'll fall to their defeat!"

"Tch." Even if he seemed non compliant, he was ready to act out the plan as soon as he was given the signal.

The angel landed and shot Marth with an arrow to get his attention, and Marth chased after him with Lucina close behind. Pit flew up, giving the signal to his partner. Dark Pit knocked Marth forward first, then grabbed Lucina next and threw her forward. Lucina was already helplessly falling off the stage, but Marth seemed completely in control. He jumped up once and just as he was about Dolphin Slash his way to the ledge, Pit jumped on his head and fluttered safely back to the stage. The confused hero king ended up falling helplessly to the floor. With only a few seconds on the clock, there'd be no way to make up those lost points, and Marth knew it.

"Look alive! 10 seconds left!" Pit called to his twin.

"We're fine." He said smugly. "We can just stall for the remaining time."

"Huh, you're right." As the two fell back to the stage, the angels flew off in either direction. While Lucina gave chase, Marth looked at the clock and sighed. The five second countdown began, so he just flicked his hair as he waited for it to be over.

"Time!" The announcer called, the stage went dark, and then Marth and Lucina were rushed by staffers, hustling them into position.

"Get clapping you guys, you lost."

Marth already knew the drill, and just clapped absently. He didn't need to hear the instructions since he already did this several times in the past. Lucina just followed along.

"I hope you two are ready for some rigorous training tomorrow, we can't have such a shoddy performance out of our fighters."

"What?" Lucina said, already feeling bad about costing them the game.

"This is just a vetting process to see who needs work and who our top fighters are. You get the gym sentence if you fail to live up to our standards."

"Oh…"

"Hahahaha, you and princey boy are in for a treat, I can assure you!"

And with that, the first match of the new season concluded.


	3. Roy Interlude 1

A/N: I think I can get more done while I wait.

* * *

The lights were turned down low as if an interrogation on a low rent crime drama was underway. Roy remained still and composed as a staffer entered the room, took a seat, and stared him down. The red head's unwavering determination bored into the staffer's subconscious as he sighed and prepared to give Roy the run down on why he hadn't been invited back yet again.

((Listen Roy, we've been over this. The fans just aren't interesting in seeing you return. They think you're too much like Marth in your fighting style. We're definitely not going to replace him with you, so I guess you're going to have to accept that."

Roy tapped his fingers impatiently. Yes, they'd been over this many, many time during the Brawl season, but that did nothing to quell his determination. ((My style may be similar to Marth's, I can say that we did inspire each other during the Melee days, but we are unique in our execution. Our battles are equally fierce and diverse.)) He knew this wasn't going to convince the staffer, but it was usually how he led into his arguments.

((Listen, we've got a few open slots, yeah. But we're still deciding on who gets in. You're not really on our radar, not enough fan demand.))

Roy was so taken aback by this that he almost got whiplash. His thoughts scrambled to reorder themselves in lieu of this new information. ((How many slots are open?)) He said, as it was the only coherent thought in his head.

((Hmm, I'm thinking about five, give or take. That doesn't mean you're being considered though.))

((What would it take? I could change up my style-"

((Look, I like you a lot, so I'll let you in on a trade secret. Since this is the first season that's considering adding new characters after the cast has been decided, we've put in a rule that if one of our Smashers requests you, you can get in. I'm not supposed to tell you that though.))

The red head paused, contemplating. He had gotten along so well with Marth that he couldn't possibly picture him turning him down. ((Call Marth, he'll put in a word for me.))

((Well, we might send out a notice soon, I think, maybe. Until then you can sit tight and hope for the best.))

((Thank you!)) He said enthusiastically. He stood up then and shook the staffer's hand. This meeting went surprisingly well as far as he was concerned.

Roy rejoined the rest of the outcast Smashers once more. With Mewtwo in their ranks, he could communicate with the others through telepathy. ((Good news everyone! There are still some spots open so we still have a shot at getting in!))

"This is great news." Lucas said, feeling braver than ever.

"Pichu!"

((I was told that it'll take some time though, so what should we do in the meantime?))

"How about we get to work watching some of the matches so we're ready when we get called back?" Popo suggested.

((Sounds good, hey Snake, could you sneak in and get us a T.V.?))

"I'm on it, it's show time!" He was off then, the other reject smashers waited patiently for about ten minutes. That's when they noticed a rather large box coming up toward them. Snake threw the cardboard off and was seen holding a piece of shit television straight out of the 80's. "This was just hanging around the store room, I don't think they'll miss it."

"I see, but will we get cable?" Nana asked.

"Got that covered." Mewtwo said. "But we'll need a power source…"

Everyone turned their attention one way. "Hook it up to Pichu." Lucas said, as an obvious deflection.

((That's a great idea!)) Roy said as he grabbed the plug. Pichu took a step back, looking nervous, but he wasn't getting out of that. The swordsman stuck the plug in the rodent's mouth. ((Do it Pichu! Do it!))

The rodent obeyed as best he could. It had been a while since he used so much electricity, but he'd do it for the good of the group! Mewtwo helped out by stealing a signal, and so they attempted to idly pass the time.

"Hey look, it's your friend Roy." Nana pointed out. "And is that his twin sister or something?"

Roy watched, silently cheering his friend on. Though, he wondered if the girl he was fighting with was just an alternate costume stunt double or maybe his sister, or daughter, or what. It did irk him to no end that he was accused of fighting too much like Marth when this girl fought exactly like him in every way. That was neither here nor there though, he'd be considered soon enough for sure.

The excitement peaked when the timer showed twenty seconds, the Smashers watched intensely as Marth was knocked off the stage. Just as he was about to Dolphin Slash his way back up, the screen cut out.

((AAAHHHH!)) Roy said, feeling completely let down. He couldn't settle for a cliff hanger like this!

"What happened?" The Ice Climbers asked, though definitely not as into it as Roy was.

Lucas gestured downward. "Pichu's passed out."

They all turned their attention to the electric rodent. He was indeed passed out on the ground, his mouth slightly opened and the plug hanging out of it.

((Lucas, can you PK Thunder it back on?!))

"Um, I'll try." He then took up the plug, and attempted to keep the T.V. on with the right amount of current.

As the screen came on again, they were just in time to see the winners. Naturally Roy wasn't happy about the result. ((If that were me on his team, there would be no way we would have lost.))

"Calm down Roy, it's not the end of the world. I'm sure you'll be there soon enough, helping him out like you always did." Popo said with a nod.

((You're right. I guess all I can do until then is wait it out.)) Now that he knew that he had a shot at getting back on the show, his optimism had gone through the roof. It was only a matter of time now until Marth requested his presence and he was a regular once again, or so he thought.


	4. No Slacking Allowed

A/N: Thanks for your review Makachoppp, I'm quite happy that you're enjoying so far! There's probably not going to be a whole lot of romance since the friend I wrote this for isn't much of a fan of that haha. I try to write proper endings, but that's my weakest area. I always struggle with trying to find a decent point to end off chapters and stories, but most of the time it comes off as choppy and abrupt, but I will keep this mind and try to improve! Anyway, on with it!

* * *

Now that the rankings had been decided, the lowest ranking fighters were gathered together and taken to the gym. Among the losers were Dark Pit, Lucina, Marth, Duck Hunt, Jigglypuff and Shulk. Wario and Zelda were supposed to be there too, but Zelda got out of it by showing off her skills as Sheik. As for Wario, he was just too lazy to be bothered with training. Dark Pit argued the whole way there, as he won his first fight but then lost to Rosalina in his second match by such a large margin that he was sent here. As they entered the gym, Shulk's agent pulled him aside.

"Listen Shulk, I need you to start selling an image of yourself, you're here because you lost your first match, but you have to get the crowd on your side!"

"Er, what?" The Monado boy said, confused by this sudden advice.

"Shulk, baby, work with me here. You're a new guy and no one knows who you are. Give the fans something to latch onto! Work your magic!"

Monado boy looked completely confused, as he didn't know what to do differently. "How do I work magic?"

The staffer slapped his forehead. "I dunno, make something up! Give the audience a catch phrase or something."

"Er, okay then." He thought for a second and then struck a pose. "I'm feeling it?"

"No no no! Give it some passion, some vigor! Not some weak, half-assed, non-committal crap!"

"Er, okay then." He adjusted his stance and cleared his throat, "I'M REALLY FEELING IT!"

The staffer was speechless, temporarily. "That's brilliant! Now, we gotta sell you more to our audience. Think you could show a little skin or something?"

"Uh, I suppose I could do that. Won't that be bad for fighting though?"

"You've got nothing to worry about. Whether you're in armour or underwear, you'll take the same damage and have the same defenses."

"If you say so." Shulk said, then abruptly started stripping off. The staffer watched in wonder as Monado boy stripped down to his underwear, and what appeared to be a pair of slippers and a necklace. "How's this?"

In all honesty, the staffer never expected Shulk to be so compliant, and he certainly didn't expect him to go this far. "Perfect! I couldn't have asked for better. Now get in there and give it your all."

"Okay!"

"Catch phrase."

"I'M REALLY FEELING IT!"

"Thata boy! Do us proud!" At that he shoved Shulk through the door. Everyone else was awaiting instruction.

This was actually Marth's first time in the gym room, at least for training. He'd always been on top of his game, even with English speakers. He looked around, confused as to what was expected of him. Suddenly, the two Wii Fit Trainers entered the room.

Dark Pit was the first to notice their odd appearance. "She doesn't have a face, what is she?" He wondered aloud.

"Good morning! Let's get started with a stretch. It is important to work out your muscles thoroughly before you work out." The female trainer said, then began bending and twisting into all sorts of shapes.

Marth had no idea what was going on, so he just followed along with everyone else, bending and stretching as the trainer did.

"We will now begin a specialized training program based on your current performance. Be prepared to give it your all, but be sure not to over exert yourself." The male trainer then went around the group, ordering them as needed. Marth was ordered into a group with Dark Pit and Shulk, and he certainly wasn't paying attention to the other group.

"Alright Smashers, everyone choose a treadmill and turn it up to a level that is equal to a brisk walk for you. Remember to stay within your limits and not try to match your peers if they are at a higher physical fitness level than you."

"Yeah right, like anyone's in better shape than me…" Dark Pit said saltily.

"Please begin."

At that, the dark angel and the Monado boy turned on their machines, Marth just followed along. Looking over at Shulk, Dark Pit adjusted his speed so that he was going slightly faster.

"Ease into your pace with a light warm up."

"Enough already! We get it!"

"Gradually increase your speed until you're in a light jog."

Shulk grinned and wondered if he could increase his popularity by doing well in this training exercise. So he shifted into speed mode and cranked the speed past the other two.

Not wanting to be outdone, the angel cranked his speed to match Shulk's, and immediately got flung off the machine.

"Remember to follow the instructions and work within your level of fitness." The trainer said nonchalantly.

Marth pretty much ignored what was going on around him. This wackiness was just par for the course for Smash. Just then a staffer entered. "Attention everyone, attention please! I have an exciting announcement! We've decided that we'll add to our roster this season, so if you have a request to bring back one of our former members, please put your suggestion in now! We'll accept anyone who was here previously, so long as one of you guys ask."

To everyone who heard the staffer, this seemed like a pointless thing to announce. They all shrugged and went about their training. Marth didn't even heed what was being said, though if he could understand he'd be in his glee. No one thought enough ahead to bring a translator for this announcement.

"Er, so, no requests? Okay then, but if you change your mind, just leave the name of the fighter on a piece of paper in our suggestion box! It's the big, safety orange coloured box outside the staffroom, in case you all forgot." With that, he left. No one seemed particularly interested in what just happened.

Dark Pit had since picked himself off the floor and was back on the treadmill at his top speed in an attempt to best his new arch nemesis. Shulk hadn't even noticed and was just going about his business in speed mode.

"Bring your speed down to a light walk now, this will be considered the cool down portion of your work out."

"Who needs a cool down?" Dark Pit snapped. While he was at his limit, there was no way he'd let Shulk and his smarmy stupid face beat him.

"A proper cool down prevents your body from becoming sore."

"Shut up! That's enough outta you!"

"Five more minutes…"

The whole time Marth had been in warm up/ cool down speed. This seemed like a pointless waste of time, but he was contractually obligated to do this. After their treadmill work out, the teams rotated. This continued for three straight hours, and at the end of the venture Dark Pit and Shulk were completely wrecked. "You make for a pretty good rival." Monado boy said. He had noticed about half way through that the angel was trying his hardest to best him.

Dark Pit didn't respond right away. "You're a dirty cheater." He stated bluntly. "You overuse your gimmick with your stupid sword!"

"Well, it's not really a gimmick. The Monado is a sacred blade with many mysteries, and it has chosen me to wield it…"

"Yeah yeah, I don't want to hear it."

A staffer entered then, looking as chipper as ever. "Alright everyone, get in line, it's time to go back to your dorms now. Rest up because we're going to be sending you back into the ring very soon."

So everyone lined up and Marth followed suit. He was rejoined by Lucina who seemed fired up and ready to go. She would have poured out some of her excitement to Marth, but decided against it because he couldn't understand her anyway. It was sort of her fault that they were there, but she figured it was a decent training experience.

They made their way to the Fire Emblem dorm where the Robins had a meal made for them. Ike was on the couch looking very satisfied, and he was the first one to address them once they arrived. "How was your training session?"

"I believe I have garnered some valuable experience from this training." Lucina said proudly/

"I remember my greenhorn days, I spent a lot of time in the gym."

"Is it because you lost a lot?" One of the Robins chimed in.

"At first. But now that I got the hang of it, I rarely lose anymore. I just go there to get stronger."

"I see." Lucina said.

"By the way guys, I thought you might have worked up an appetite after your session, so we made you a lunch. It was hard since Ike ended up eating most of the ingredients…"

"Hey, any meat you leave hanging around is fair game."

"You should have told us that BEFORE we took out the ten pounds of beef." Male Robin stated.

"Not to mention the five whole chickens. I mean, I almost died getting those birds…" Female Robin said, having traumatic flashbacks to the terrifying encounter she had with the fine meats of Hyrule.

Ike shrugged, completely unfazed.

Lucina then took her spot at the table. Marth ignored the invitation and just went back to his room. After today he hoped he'd get some one on one matches to boost his popularity again. According to the current rankings, he wasn't doing terribly even in spite of his first battle ending in a loss, but he figured that since he was here again he might as well make it to the top.

Shortly after he had laid out, ready for a nap, there was a knock at the door. "Hey Marth, aren't you going to join us for lunch?" Female Robin asked. They had already gone through the trouble of making him a meal, so the least he could do was eat it. After a few long seconds of silence, she tried again, "come on Marth, no need to be a shut in."

The Hero King tried to drown out her voice by looking at the picture on his nightstand. It depicted his army back home, and Shiida. He smiled a little, but he didn't get much peace.

"Well, if you're not coming out, I'm bringing it in." She collected his meal then, and put it on a tray for him. After that she picked open the lock using a skill she garnered from re-classing into a thief that one time. Once she got in, Marth looked at her with confusion. She held the tray out to him. "Take it."

He eyed her with intrigue, not sure how to take this development. Either way, he got up and took the tray from her. "ありがとう" He said simply.

"Enjoy." She said, then left him to his own devices. When she rejoined her fellow Smashers, she looked troubled. "You know, I really think we should start taking steps to include him."

"How do you plan on doing that?" Ike said.

"I figure us Robins have the know-how to learn the language, what you say other Robin?"

"I think that's a decent idea, communication would be crucial to forming proper strategies."

"Then it's settled! We better give it our all!"


	5. Marth can Tell

A few days had passed since the new season had started and by now everyone seemed to have found their niche. Though, not everyone was seeing massive success. A very grumpy Dark Pit entered the common room of the Kid Icarus dorm just wanting coffee and relaxation. His recent losing streak had disheartened him and he didn't feel like associating with the other Smashers today. Much to his dismay, there at his table was Ike. That carnivorous mercenary was the last person he wanted to see. Here was the guy that had pulverized him mercilessly in the last battle, in his dorm, drinking his coffee and eating his steak sandwich. Well, he wasn't going to put up with that. He strode right up and grabbed that mercenary by the shirt. "Take a hike, Ike! You're not welcome here!" Ike appeared to be completely undaunted by this.

"Pittoo!" Palutena scolded comically. "Be nice to our guests, Otherwise it's going to be a long night for you."

The dark angel let go of Ike and stared at the goddess in disbelief. "What do you mean it's going to be a long night?!" It was barely morning, she couldn't possibly mean…

"I invited some friends over for a poker game, I expect they'll be here any second now."

"I came early for the food." Ike said nonchalantly.

Just then Pit emerged from the kitchen wearing an apron that said 'my dishes are divine.' "Morning Pittoo! Are you excited for the all day and all night poker marathon?" The angel was as chipper as always. Dark Pit clenched his fist in frustration as his lighter twin continued. "Lady Palutena has assigned me the super important task of preparing the snacks!" He scooted over to the table and placed a freshly baked batch of cookies and a basket of chicken wings into Ike's line of vision. Ike licked his lips and wondered for the briefest of moments if Pit's wings would taste as good if they were battered and deep fried.

Although Dark Pit was infuriated enough to rip out all of his hair in frustration, he somehow was able to remain silent. He turned right around went back to his room. No way would he have any part of this. Pit, though disappointed that his dark side wouldn't be joining them tonight, accepted that he'd be flying solo all night. Either that or he'd be the butler/food dispenser.

Just then there was a knock at the door and the very eager angel answered instantly. "Hi!" Princess Peach said. Behind her was Samus, Sheik, Marth, and Mario.

"Welcome everyone! Pit said jovially. "Lady Palutena! The morning crew is here!"

The goddess floated up to them with a warm smile. "So glad you all could make it." She said, sizing up the group. "Hmm, where's Link?"

Sheik looked away and blushed, not that anyone could tell. "He's slightly preoccupied, but I expect he'll be here shortly."

"Hmm, well I don't want to start without him." She turned her attention to her divine intern. "Pit, will you be a dear and check on Link for me? You have my permission to gently nudge him along if he's dawdling."

"Can do Lady Palutena!" and with that, the dutiful angel was off again.

-Down the hall at the Legend of Zelda Dorm-

Pit casually knocked on the door with the Triforce insignia. "Hey Link! Did you forget about the all day and all night poker marathon at the Kid Icarus dorm?" He spoke while knocking. There was no answer, so he knocked a little harder. "Link?"

The door opened and Viridi poked her head out. "Geez Pit, there you go ruining my day with your incessant nagging!"

"V-Viridi?!"

"Naturally." She said in a tone that said she was proud of herself.

"Wh-what are you doing here? Aren't you just a commentator?"

"That is none of your business!" She flicked her hair behind her. "Anyway, I suppose I could let Link go to your little party." She turned around and winked at the current object of her affections. With that, she was off.

Link came to the door shortly after. "Hup." He said plainly.

"Er, well, are you ready?"

"Ha." He nodded in agreement.

-Back at the Kid Icarus dorm.-

The chatting was now in full swing and everyone was socializing over snacks. Well, everyone except Ike, whose face was buried in a pulled pork poutine, and Marth who was used to this anyway. Though, Marth understood cards, and was prepared to take all the greenhorns to the cleaners. You couldn't tell by looking, but for some reason he had insane confidence at cards. As long as he knew what game they were playing, he knew he was as good as anyone. Pit and Link entered, and the angel directed Link to his seat. Palutena was pleased.

"Link! So glad you could make it."

"Hm." He said with a nod.

"Now that everyone's here, let's begin! And Pit, would you be a dear and start making the egg rolls, cheese balls, and cupcakes? Oh, and maybe a ham or two for Ike."

"Right away Lady Palutena!" He said, donning his apron and getting back to the kitchen.

Their game began and Marth took an early lead. His biggest opponent was surprisingly Princess Peach, who was damn near impossible to read with her permanently smiling face. Everyone else had obvious tells, and the fact that Marth didn't need to know their spoken language to know their body language made him feel completely in control.

After the breakfast hours were over, some of the group left. They needed to attend their battles after all. Marth stayed around until he was called down for some one on one matches. He arrived back after supper, and the new group there was Greninja, Luigi, Shulk, Jigglypuff, Zelda and Kirby. Ike was there too, looking passed out on the couch in a meat induced coma. Palutena welcomed him back. "Marth, we were waiting for you! How was day?"

Marth shrugged. He didn't know what she asked so he just started talking. ((I'll bet my popularity is back up where it should be. After today I have a nearly flawless record.)) He had only lost to Pikachu in the last half of his battles, and he was glowing with pride over that.

"Oh Marth, your accent is just so cute!" She teased him as a very exhausted Pit came in with round 39 of the snacks. "Alright everyone, let's begin!"

Not long after their game started, Dark Pit slithered out. Sure enough, he was right in his suspicion that his arch nemesis Shulk was there. He wasn't going to stand for that, and took a seat at the table.

"Finally decided to join us, hey Pittoo?" The goddess said with a warm smile.

"I'm just here for the food." He lied.

"Sure you are." She said, rolling her eyes. Their game began again, and while Dark Pit managed to stay ahead of Shulk the whole time, he was still at a deficit due to how absurdly cunning Marth was. How could he possibly see through all of the bluffs?

"Hey Palutena, how about a little divine intervention?"

"Oh Pittoo, are you feeling sad that you can't win your money back?"

"He's got such a lead that there's no way he isn't cheating, so we should cheat right back!" He barked. "We could just change up the rules and he'd be none the wiser."

"Now Pittoo, that's not very nice to our guest."

"Who cares?!"

"Hey, who do you think could eat more, Kirby or Ike?" Zelda said, glancing over to the two now passed out on the couch.

"That depends if we're serving meat or not." Shulk said contemplatively. "I can't imagine Ike gorging on ice cream like Kirby can."

"Oh yeah? I raise you, I'd be willing to bet that Ike could out eat Kirby even if they're eating sweets!"

Shulk may have been taken aback by Dark Pit's forward and aggressive betting, but he'd take the bait. "Sounds like a plan. Can we wake them up?"

"Ooo, that sounds exciting!" The goddess said. "Pit, go out and get all of the ice cream we have."

"Right away… Lady Palutena…" The out of breath angel servant said.

Attention was turned to the two sleeping fighters, Dark Pit ran over and smacked them both awake. Kirby was noticeably startled but Ike hardly flinched.

"Hey guys!" Shulk called from the table. "We've got a little bet going. We want to see who can eat more ice cream."

"Huh." Ike said, not exactly impressed with that contest.

"Don't worry Ike, I've got some flavours you might like." Pit said from the kitchen. "There's a surprising number of beef and chicken flavoured ice cream in our freezer…"

Dark Pit looked toward his lighter side with disgust. "Why do we have flavours like that here?!"

Pit shrugged. He never heard of such flavours, but he was pleased that they were here now. He carried out several tubs of ice cream and placed them before the combatants. "Alright, are you guys up for this?"

"Eh, I've got no more battles today, so sure." Ike said with a shrug.

"Wait a second, you can't go giving him meat flavoured ice cream, that's not what the bet was!"

"I thought it was." Pit responded.

"It has to be sweet, like strawberry, or caramel or something."

"I've got an idea," Shulk chimed in, "to make it fair, why don't we give Kirby the meat flavoured ice cream and Ike the uh, standard flavours?"

"Sounds good to me." Ike said with a shrug.

"Neya!" Kirby said, jumping up.

"Okay, then it is decided!" Pit said. "Ready? Spoons up, go!" Money changed hands as bets were placed. The cheering started and the gorging began.

Among all of the shenanigans, Marth slipped out. There was no point in going through with this since he no longer knew what was going on here.

When he returned to his dorm, he noticed the Robins at the table slaving over a stack of open books. He couldn't be bothered to take an interest in what it might be, but they seemed to notice him and tense up.

"Oh, he's back." Male Robin said.

"I guess we should take a break for a while."

"Guess so."

They closed up their books then, as they didn't want to confuse Marth with their attempts to say simple phrases. It was late anyway, so sleeping on what they learned might help with synthesizing what they had learned. Before Marth could make it into his room, female Robin called out to him. "Hey Marth!" He turned back in recognition of his name but then realized that it was pointless, and attempted to enter his room when he was hit with an earnest "O-ya-su-mi."

He raised an eyebrow. Her accent was incredibly thick, but he at least understood what she meant. "おやすみ" he replied, then entered his room and closed the door. He was still unsure as to how to take this, but perhaps this was a good sign.


	6. Roy Interlude 2

It had been a long time since Roy got the news, and yet he received no indication that he was being welcomed back to the show. He was starting to worry that somehow he was being lied to, or that they didn't mention it to the fighters, or worst of all, maybe Marth didn't want him back. If that was the case, his chance to get back on the show would evaporate into thin air. He tried to put those thoughts out of his mind as he sat with his group just outside the studio. Pichu was only now starting to recover from his electrical exertion from powering a T.V.

His group had joined him and they began their plot to get in and convince one of the regulars to request them. A few of them had friends on the inside, so they had their plan covered, but the solo acts were in a slightly more difficult situation. When Mewtwo arrived, they could all start communicating again. ((Okay guys, according to this diagram I got from Snake, we can enter through this door, though I think it's only at certain times, when they're bringing around the meals.))

"By the way, where is Snake?" Wolf asked flatly.

The Ice Climbers looked around then, "Snake? Snake?! SNAKE!"

"Relax, he got a contract elsewhere." Mewtwo informed them. "But he did leave all of his notes with me." Some paper lifted with telekinesis floated before the pokemon's face. "Roy is right about the door, it's opened for thirty minutes around mealtimes and may go for minutes without being attended. That's our best chance I think."

"Alright!" Everyone said, getting excited.

Just then, the nameless Pokemon trainer joined up with them. While his Charizard made the cut, he and his other pokemon did not. "Hey guys, what's up?"

((It's a little complicated.)) Roy said with a shrug, ((We've gotten news that someone on the inside can get us back on the show, if they request it.))

Pokemon Trainer touched the back of his neck nervously. "Yeah, about that, I asked Charizard to get me back in, you know, reunite the team and all that. But apparently he likes flying solo and getting all the glory…"

Pichu actually burst out laughing, since that whole scenario was just ridiculous to him. Trainer scoffed. "I don't see what you're laughing about. You were betrayed by your big brother who's taking all the glory for himself." Pichu instantly stopped laughing and went quiet with a solemn look about him.

((Ah well, I guess that's just how things go. Sorry that your friend isn't standing up for you.)) Roy said, shaking his head. ((Aren't you still in command though? That dragon is your subordinate isn't he?))

"Well, yeah, Charizard is still my pokemon, but lately he's been a little too full of himself because of all of his success. It's like he forgot all about the good times we had together…" Pokemon Trainer appeared to be lost in nostalgia, but then he suddenly snapped out of his reminiscing. "By the way, I happened upon a useless TM, but I think it might be helpful to you guys. Mewtwo in particular." He rummaged though his bag until he found the disk like attack data. "It's TM 30, Teleport! I think you could use it to get in or something. Think you can ask Pikachu for a spot and then get us in too?"

Mewtwo's interest was instantly piqued. "Hmm, this will prove most useful. Thank you. I will use this for all of our benefit." He took the technical machine and placed it on his head. Seconds later he remembered how to teleport. With that, he made his way back to his old dorm.

"Huh, now that he's in, I'm sure he's going to put in a good word for all of us." Lucas said hopefully.

"Yeah, we're as good as in now." Trainer concurred.

-5 hours later-

"He's not coming back, is he?" The Ice Climbers speculated. Pichu started crying and Young Link started drowning his sorrows in his milk bottle. Roy also started to worry that he'd be the odd man out and incapable of communicating with everyone again. He gestured to the T.V. they stole not too long ago, as if to confirm that Mewtwo had successfully made it onto the show.

"Hey, I think Roy's trying to tell us something." Lucas mentioned.

"Oh yeah! We could tune in and see if they added Mewtwo…" Nana said.

Pichu took a step back, but was then seized by Wolf. Seconds later the plug was back in his mouth and the screen was lit again.

Sure enough, there was Mewtwo, wailing on Bowser and Ganondorf, apparently. "That backstabber!" The other rejects said. Now that they got all of the information they needed, Pichu was released.

"Wait, maybe he's smoothing things out with the higher ups?" Lucas suggested.

They paused, contemplating the possibility of that. Considering that they'd been waiting in their nearby camp for hours, that possibility seemed farfetched. Though, it was the only hope a few of them had. Nana and Popo had no one on the inside to vouch for them, Wolf knew he wasn't getting a recommendation, and Roy's only hope was Marth. Considering that there were now more Fire Emblem characters than ever, Roy wondered if Marth was content with his new company. It was a little depressing, but the fiery red head wasn't about to give up hope.

Even though Mewtwo had betrayed them, Roy still had the plans from the previous conversation. Soon he'd be sure to stake out the unguarded door during meal times and sneak in undetected. If he could only speak with Marth, he was sure he'd get his spot. Though, he wasn't planning on helping the other rejects. It wasn't like he held them in contempt, but he couldn't communicate and with only five slots he couldn't risk letting his chance slip past. He wouldn't voice this plan, not that it would make a difference, but he would put his survival of the fittest plan into action at dawn tomorrow. If he could, that is.


	7. It's Not Who You Think it is

A/N: I'm thinking I'll finish this up today or tomorrow.

* * *

Ike was the last one up in the fire emblem dorm the day after the poker game at the Kid Icarus dorm. Though, his morning was not pleasant, and he was suffering from the worst stomach ache he'd ever had. So painfully slowly, he dragged himself out of bed and headed to the medicine cabinet to get something to ease the pain. "Ohh OOoohh." He groaned, waddling to the kitchen. Normally the scent of frying eggs would have made his mouth water, but now it was just making him queasy and ill. He tried to ignore it as he reached for something to ease the quease.

"Morning Ike, I think something's terribly wrong with Marth." Lucina said.

"Wuh…" He downed some pills with a groan and looked up. Marth was cooking breakfast with a broad smile on his face. It confused Ike too. "How long has this been going on?"

"I don't know, I just woke up and he was out here. And he's been smiling non-stop. What happened last night?"

"I'm not sure, I was asleep for most of it." He contemplated what the cause of this might be.

All of a sudden, the Hero King looked up at his present company and offered them all his excited smile, at the same time he shuffled some eggs onto plates laid out for them. ((Good morning you lovely people. I hope you're all having a wonderful day.)) He shuffled around, glanced at his fight schedule for the day and nodded. At that he started buzzing around the room as if he was trying to pass the time with something.

"This is bad…" Ike said.

"What should we do? We can't leave him like this…"

Just then the Robins came in with a stack of books each. They noted the sudden tension and chimed in. "Hey guys, you're looking distressed." Male Robin pointed out.

"It's Marth." Lucina said. "He's been smiling non-stop!"

"We noticed that too." Female Robin said. "I think it has something to do with his schedule, he glances at it and it seems to raise his spirits."

"We're going to find out what it says… I figure there's a favourable line up for him today." Naturally Marth's schedule was written in Japanese, so the Robins were already on the case to decode the mystery.

"Oh, you think he's got some good match ups?"

"That's the theory, we're going to find out." They sat at the table and opened the books, looking up the Katakana table. "Hmm, according to this, his 10 a.m. match is with Peach, then he has another at 12:30 with Roy, a 4 p.m. team battle with Shulk, Link, and Jigglypuff, and finally a 7 p.m. free for all match with Villager, Sheik and Little Mac. Huh."

"Seems like a pretty standard day." Lucina said.

"Yeah, I wonder if there's something going on that we don't know about? Behind the scenes maybe?" Ike said with a shrug that quickly turned into him rubbing his stomach.

"Who knows. By the way Ike, how was your night? I hear you tried to eat more ice cream than Kirby?" Male Robin inquired.

"Ohhh, that was a bad idea. I really should have given up after the fifth tub…"

"Oh Ike." Female Robin said sympathetically. "Did you at least win?"

"No." He didn't seem all that torn up about it. "But I don't understand where Kirby keeps all of the food he sucks up. At one point he actually turned into an ice cream cone, but then he danced around, and it went away, and he just kept eating. And then he turned spotted like a cow, but that went away too and he just kept eating…" He spoke with the horrified tone of someone having a traumatic flashback.

The way he worded that made the other Smashers chuckle. "You know what they say, you are what you eat." Female Robin said.

"In Kirby's case, it's actually true." Lucina stated.

Marth rejoined them at the table then, watching the clock. He was shaking a little with anticipation and he couldn't stop grinning. In his mind he'd finally be getting his friend back, so he wouldn't have to feel so isolated from his dorm mates.

-Later-

12:30 rolled around and Marth was in his glee. He waited outside the Final Destination set like he was instructed and held his sword tightly out in front of him. The last time Roy showed up, he had to defeat him in battle so he could become a regular cast member, and he figured this would be a throwback to that even back in season two.

((Oh, you're here already Marth?)) A staffer said as he hustled the Hero King inside.

((Yeah, I've been thinking about this moment all day.)) He said with a competitive grin.

((Really? Why?)) Marth was hustled into position. The Hero King didn't have time to respond as the lights came on and he was confronted with a strange, unfamiliar sight.

He looked around the set as the countdown began. The Roy he knew was nowhere to be found, and instead he was faced with Roy- the koopaling. It confused him greatly since he didn't know this particular koopaling had the same name as his friend.

Upon hearing the "GO!" Marth began a vicious, unending assault on this obviously not his friend imposter. Roy tried his hardest to get in some good hits, but the ever determined Hero King finished the match with both lives and minimal damage. The lights dimmed then, and the rescue-copter arrived to bring him back to the main building.

((I don't understand.)) He mumbled as he was brought back to the main studio. He had at least expected Roy to appear after he had finished off- whoever the hell that was.

The staffer in charge of him was slow clapping. ((That was pretty amazing.)) He said with a nod. ((Did you hear the waves of cheering fans? Your popularity is now rivalling Shulk's, and that's no easy feat considering how he won over all the girls…))

((Where was Roy? I thought I was supposed to fight him.)) Marth stated bluntly with a tone of urgency.

((What?))

((I was scheduled to fight Roy, did he get sick or something?))

((But, you did fight Roy, and you won. Are you feeling okay?))

Marth paused and thought about what he was told. ((So what you're saying is, that lizard Bowser Jr. looking creature was Roy?))

((Uh, yeah.))

He stared in disbelief. There were two options here, either his friend had somehow transformed into a koopaling, or this was a different Roy. ((So then…))

((Sorry Marth, it's not that fiery red head from season two. Sorry for the confusion.))

Marth sighed. He should have been used to this by now, but having his hopes crushed like this left him in a foul mood. So he just rolled his eyes and made his way back to his dorm.

Though, once he got back to his dorm, there was a note attached to his door. In English only. The door was locked tight and his key didn't work for some reason. It only served to aggravate him further. He knocked a few times, but that only brought out the maintenance crew.

"You got a problem buddy?" Inside some renovations were going on. Marth wasn't in the mood for this.

((What's going on?))

The maintenance man looked at him for a while, until he signalled over one of the bilingual workers. ((Something the matter?))

((Yeah, what's going on here?))

((We're just installing a bigger kitchen in your dorm. Head to the Mario Bros. dorm until it's finished.)) He said plainly.

((How long is this going to take?))

((Dunno. A few days? Just go to the Mario dorm for now. It's big enough to accommodate you I'm sure.))

Marth just growled and stormed off. Could this day get any worse?

When he found the Mario dorm, he noticed that various insignias crudely drawn on post it notes and stuck underneath the mushroom. He rolled his eyes and knocked. Peach answered. "Hi!" She said with a smile and waved him in.

The Mario dorm was huge, it was like a city onto itself. Probably the perks afforded to the most popular characters on the show. He stepped in with awe. His other dorm-mates were hanging around, with Ike lying on a green couch with a pillow over his face, hiding from the absurd amount of cakes hanging around.

"Make yourself at home and have a peachy day." She said as the Hero King took a seat near his roommates and sat with a sigh. With his good mood crushed, he just sat dejected.

"Konnichiwa Marth." Male Robin said. "So uh, I take it you lost your fight?"

He didn't respond, instead he focussed on Pikachu who was eating a cupcake nearby. Not many of the Smashers knew it, but Pikachu was multilingual. While he could understand Marth, Marth naturally couldn't understand most of what the rodent said. If they socialised, he kept it to yes and no questions. ((You look like you're having a good time.))

"Pika." He responded, grinning endlessly.

((Well, that's good for you.)) He said, now too despondent to bother keeping the conversation going.

Female Robin noted this interaction. "How peculiar, it seems like Pikachu understands Marth."

"You sure about that?" Male Robin said skeptically.

"Who knows, let's ask him." She turned her attention to Pikachu and spoke plainly. "Hey Pikachu, can you understand Marth."

The rodent looked up. "Pika." He said with a nod.

"Wow, really?"

"Pika, Pika-chu!" He confirmed.

"Amazing! How about helping us out, giving us pointers on learning the language?"

"Pika?" He seemed confused by such a request.

"You really think he can help?" Male Robin asked.

"Well, I suppose." She said with a shrug. "What else are we going to do while we wait? We've got like, two more days to kill, so why not?"

"Eh, I suppose your right." He looked around. Then he grabbed Pikachu and the three of them disappeared.


	8. The Rough Arrival of Roy

The Fire Emblem dorm was relatively quiet, as everyone was either out battling or resting from last night's Mario dorm related shenanigans. The only ones left were the Robins, who were currently unburdened by scheduled challenges or contractual obligations. They decided to head out to visit Chrom, who wasn't important enough to have a room in the main Fire Emblem dorm and instead was stuck with Riki and Dunban in the extras wing. It wasn't nearly as lavish as the main fighters' rooms, but he wasn't complaining. After seeing the bland, vending machine food they were subjected to though, the Robins decided to give Chrom a taste of the premium menu they enjoyed in the fighter's wing.

Not long after the meal was made, Ike entered the Fire Emblem dorm and stretched out after a long, hard fight with Dark Pit, Link, and Pikachu. Though, before he could collapse on his bed, something absolutely stunning caught his eye. "Hello beautiful." Ike said, approaching the table and taking a seat. His face lit up as he took in the sight of this beautiful specimen. He reached out, almost shyly, to touch this exemplary marvel of beauty.

"Oh, you look delicious." He said, picking it up and licking his lips, "but how do you taste?" He ran his tongue sensuously over the current object of his affections. It was so perfectly juicy, and slow cooked to perfection, and had just enough spice to be infinitely intriguing. His mouth watered relentlessly as he began to devour the unidentified meat stick before him.

Just then the female Robin entered holding some hot sauce, horrified at the sight. "Ike! What are you doing?!"

The mercenary stopped dead, mid-bite, and looked at her like a deer in the headlights. "Uh, is this yours?"

"Yes! I made that for Chrom!" Though there was no chance in hell she'd give it to him now.

"Oh, sorry." He said, setting it back down on the plate. "So uh-"

"Well, don't stop eating it now! I can't give it to him in this condition." She sighed in exasperation. Her smash ball boyfriend would probably be getting that generic extra's soup for dinner- yet again.

Ike just shrugged and picked up the meat again, blissfully in his glee. Robin also took a seat at the table and wondered if she could secure enough ingredients to make a suitable meal for Chrom in an hour. She was startled out of her musings when a very angry Marth busted in. He was not happy after losing his fight to Ness, and his hair was singed because of the constant PK Fires thrown at him. Ike didn't react at all, since he was so engrossed in eating Chrom's perfectly cooked meat.

"((That amount of spamming shouldn't be allowed.))" Marth grumbled to himself. It was at times like this that he really missed Roy. He could have vented his frustration and gotten some advice from the somewhat level-headed Phraen. Perhaps he could have even had a sparring match outside of the sets, but he couldn't ask anyone here to do that. They'd just give him that same confused look they always did.

"Ohayou Marth. You look more roasted than the meat Ike stole from me." Robin said, trying her best to be polite and lighten the mood. Ike didn't even bother responding since he got what he wanted.

Marth just ignored her, even though he recognised his name and her attempt to speak Japanese. He wasn't going to put up with shenanigans right now, so he just made his way to his bed and lay out over the covers. A headache began to form out of frustration and he hoped more than anything that the annoying English speakers would just leave him alone.

"He looks pretty defeated, I'll have to see how badly he lost later." Female Robin said thoughtfully.

"Do you think you know the language enough to ask such a thing?" Male Robin said.

"I can try." She replied with a nod.

Ike swallowed hard, feeling completely euphoric after consuming such a delicious snack. "Eh, he's been more distracted than usual I've noticed. Have you tried fighting on a team with that guy? It's like he's in his own little world."

"Well, I guess because he can't communicate with his teammates like you can." She said with a shrug.

"I guess." Ike said, just about ready for a nap.

Before he could make it to bed though, one of the Smash staffers came bursting in. "Ike, Dark Pit is requesting, nay, DEMANDING a rematch with you, but one on one this time." He was out of breath and had a purple arrow sticking out of his leg, and had a look of urgency about him.

"What, you mean right now?"

"YES!" He said, grabbing the mercenary by the cape and attempting to drag him off. Ike didn't move, the staffer sighed. He should have known that he couldn't move the massive meat mountain of muscle known as Ike.

"Alright, alright. Final destination yeah?" The mercenary stretched out and very casually strolled over to the Final Destination set. The staffer breathed a sigh of relief.

-(Meanwhile)-

This was it! The red head had finally infiltrated the Smash studio and was on his way to the Fire Emblem dorm. He ran at top speed, in his glee. It almost made him feel nostalgic to be back. The familiar halls and the unfamiliar new wings made his heart flutter, and he couldn't contain his excitement as he bolted toward his old room. Nothing could stop him now!

Well, except for the hordes of Smash staffers now chasing him. Damnit! His plan was so perfect too. Though, he wasn't too worried, all he'd have to do is outrun them and make it to his dorm. Then he could get Marth to help him stay, probably. Or maybe if he was caught on camera they'd have no choice but to make him a regular cast member due to popular demand. Either way, nothing could get between him and his dorm! He was in the clear! The dorm was in sight! Nothing could possibly stop him now!

Except for the horde of Smash staffers heading from the direction of the dorm straight toward him. Roy groaned in frustration and changed his course. If only he could shake off the staff, then he could reunite with his old friend and possibly make it back on the show. So he ducked down the nearest hallway and entered the first door he spotted. It was a big mistake.

-(Back to Ike)-

Dark Pit had just used the last of his strength to fly back to the stage, but he overshot his target and ended up getting a sword forced into his stomach. He flew back at ridiculous speeds and hit the wall off screen. Ike threw his sword down in triumph. Seconds later he heard the announcer call out "GAME!" and he knew that he had won.

Before the rescue device could come down and get him though, someone Ike never seen before came crashing onto the stage. At that speed, it almost seemed like he was affected by normal gravity, and the way he fell made it look like he was in some serious pain. Ike wondered if this new guy was a new character that the show introduced from time to time, but he was hesitant to attack since the guy already looked in rough shape.

"Hey, are you alright?" Ike said, approaching slowly.

The red head tried to stand, but the impact of the fall caused enough damage to stop him in his tracks. ((Help…)) He said. His voice was weak and pained. Ike didn't know what to make of this situation.

Just then the cameras and lights were shut off and the stage was flooded with staffers. Some of them held Ike back, but the majority rushed to Roy. Apparently their main concern was the potential for a lawsuit. Seconds later and Ike was whisked away to the main halls, but he didn't see what happened to the red head.


	9. Homecoming

A/N: One more to go! The ending chapter will be super short just so you know.

* * *

The mercenary returned to his dorm, shaken and confused about what transpired in the Final Destination set. The other units noticed, with the male Robin stepping in first. "Ike, you look troubled, did you lose your last fight?"

"No, I won." He started, not sure how to bring up what he saw. "After I won someone fell onto the set, and I mean they literally fell. I don't know if he survived."

"He fell?"

"Yeah, at a normal gravity kind of speed." Ike said. "I think he wasn't wearing the chip."

"That doesn't sound good." The female Robin chimed in. "Is he okay?"

"Well, I was surrounded by staffers, and then he was gone. I don't know if he's okay or not…" Hopefully he was getting some sort of treatment, but Ike couldn't make that assumption.

Just then a staffer arrived at the Fire Emblem dorm, and spoke to Marth, ((Hey, we need to see you in the infirmary.))

Marth perked up. He didn't get the chance to speak with the staffers often, so this would be the chance he needed to vent some frustration. His suspicion wasn't even roused when he was told to go to the infirmary, he just got up and did what he was told.

((So what's with this all of a sudden?)) The prince asked.

((We've got someone asking for you. We're all done patching him up and he keeps asking to see you.)) The staffer appeared nervous and jittery, it was unnerving to say the least.

((Who is?))

((That red headed boy.))

((Red…)) It couldn't be. Suddenly Marth's interest spiked and he bolted off in the direction of the infirmary. The staffer didn't even attempt to keep up.

Once the prince arrived, there was Roy. He was sitting on the bed casually, looking completely unscathed. ((Hello Marth, it's nice to see you again.)) The cheeky Roy stated flatly.

The prince paused, overjoyed to see his old friend. ((Roy…))

((I spoke with the staff, and they say if you put in a good word for me I can be a regular member or the cast.))

((Really? Of course I'd vouch for you. I haven't been able to talk to anyone since you left.))

Roy smiled. ((It's good to be back then.))

((It's good to have you back.)) They joined hands in a sign of comradery, and at that a somewhat disgruntled staffer joined them.

((Well, if it is decided that Roy will join the cast, we've got to shoot a commercial to let the viewers know. I'm sure it'll get the hype going and even get some old viewers back.))

((What, you mean right now?)) Roy asked. He was still a little shaken from his run in with gravity earlier.

The staffer moved close and stuck Roy with a chip. ((Yes, the sooner we get this sorted out, the better. You and Marth get to the Castle Siege set. The others will join you.))

((Others?)) Roy said curiously.

((Our dorm has gotten pretty crowded actually.)) Marth chimed in. ((But they're not like us, they can't speak our language. Two of them have at least been putting in the effort to learn it though.))

((Oh.)) Roy said with intrigue. ((I guess I be seeing them soon.))

((I suppose so. Don't get too excited though))

-(Back at the Fire Emblem Dorm)-

The remaining cast members were all a little confused and slightly worried about what had just happened. After Ike's report and Marth's sudden call, everyone was left wondering what was going on. While the room was alive with speculation until a staffer showed up, looking excited. "Big news guys! We've got ourselves a new recruit!"

They turned their attention to the staffer, Ike was the first to speak. "This newcomer, he wouldn't happen to be the red haired guy I saw back at Final Destination, would he?"

"That's the guy. He's fine now, in case you were wondering." Ike breathed a sigh of relief knowing that the strange boy would be fine, and the staffer continued. "Anyway, I'm going to need you to come with me Ike, and also Lucina and the boy Robin. Girl Robin, you can stay where you are."

"Typical." Female Robin said, though not at all bothered by it.

The rest of the cast made their way to the main studio, the one they used for promos and non-battle related scenes. There they all met Roy for the first time. The red head was actually shocked to see so many others like himself. Marth gently reminded him that none of these people could communicate with him, but he still did his best to greet them and introduce himself.

"Okay, so we got our second wave of newcomers decided on, so let's shoot the promo and get him situated."

While the entire promo went off without a hitch, and Roy had a ton of fun doing it, there was the dilemma of where he'd be sleeping that night. No one even thought about it until they made it back to the dorm. In the end, he opted to sleep on the couch in the common room, and while he was setting up the Smash staff got to work building another room. The dorm was beginning to look more like an empire, which wasn't exactly a bad thing.

-Meanwhile-

Young Link looked at Pichu, then to the Ice Climbers, then back to Pichu. "He's not coming back, is he?" He said in a defeated tone.

Pichu started to cry again, and the Ice Climbers looked at each other contemplatively. "Hey, has anyone seen Lucas?"

The remaining outcasts looked around. When did Lucas slip past them, and where was he now? "There's no way Lucas betrayed us too, right?" Eventually their eyes rested on a piece of paper on the ground. Nana went over to pick it up. "Congratulations Lucas, your friend Ness has requested your presence as a regular cast member. You have secured your spot on the show and we are pleased to have you back, love the Smash team."

"Ooooh." They all said in unison. Perhaps they'd get their chance some other time…


	10. The End

The two Japanese speakers were currently engaged in idle chatter. Neither of them had any matches coming up, so they were just socializing. All of a sudden, a very excited Pit came running up, a festively wrapped box in his hands. "Roy! Hi! Welcome aboard. I got you a welcoming gift!" He held it out with a wide, glowing smile.

Roy only understood his name, but eventually he took the box and opened it to reveal- the ugliest shirt he'd ever seen in his life. He raised an eyebrow and looked at Pit with confusion.

"It's a blazer!" the angel said jovially.

Roy continued to look confused. This obviously wasn't his style.

"Er, get it?"

Roy didn't respond.

"I guess you could say this present is, the pits?"

Roy just stared vacantly at him.

"I'll, uh, see myself out." He said, slightly disappointed.

((Huh, interesting.)) Roy said, slinging the blazer over his shoulder.

((Hey look, I think there's a batch of new comers.)) Marth said, gesturing to a blonde man with an absurdly large sword. Behind him filing some paperwork was a sexy witch and someone dressed in grey. Those two seemed to be stuck in some kind of legal trap, but the big sword blonde guy seemed ready to go.

((I wonder if we should introduce ourselves.)) Roy said thoughtfully.

((It's probably pointless to try that. They're probably all English speakers.))

((It can't hurt.)) Roy said with optimism. He approached then, and said blatantly to the newcomer, "こんにちは."

The blonde man barely raised his eyes and said simply, "興味ないね."

Both of their jaws dropped. They looked at each other, then back at the new guy, then back at each other, then back at the new guy. They were completely floored that there was another Japanese speaker in their midst. They approached, but Cloud seemed completely uninterested.

((Mr. Cloud, your room is ready.)) A staffer said suddenly. Where did he even come from?

((Thanks.)) He said with a slight, wispy sigh. At that, he was off, completely ignoring Marth and Roy in the process.

((Huh, I guess he's not joining our dorm?))

((Seems that way.)) The red head replied. ((Oh well, I guess he's part of his own universe, but that doesn't mean we can't socialize sometimes.))

Marth nodded. The two observed the other newcomers up ahead, stuck in legal limbo. Roy's heart went out to them, he knew all too well what that was like. Either way, they continued their trip to the cafeteria, because what else were they going to do?

They didn't make it all the way to the cafeteria though, as Ike came running up behind them. Neither of them noticed until the mercenary seized Roy and dragged him off. "Come on Roy, we're going to get revenge on the new guy…" He didn't elaborate, not that it would matter since Roy couldn't understand him anyway. The red head just went with it, though startled at first, and waved farewell for now to Marth. The hero king offered a sympathetic smile. At least this was how it should be, and he'd be interested in seeing how Roy got along with Ike and the others in battle.

* * *

A/N: Wow, if you made it to the end, I commend you! Anyway, that's all. Hope you all enjoyed. Anyway, I'll put in some notes about some things that got cut:

A scene of the Pit twins talking about Pit failing flight school, where fox confirms that Pit can't fly an Arwing at all (cut because I don't know enough about Star Fox to make it work).

A side scene where Pokemon Trainer attempts to capture Mewtwo (Couldn't work it in).

A minor scene where Ike asks Dark Pit if he's a raven (but I figured he'd already been over what an angel was from his Brawl days, as he would have likely asked if Pit was a Heron).

Many, many, MANY jokes involving Shulk's partial nudity (figured it would get old fast).

The scene where Roy arrives was original going to be a lot more violent. I thought I'd have Ike actually attack him, thinking that he was a newcomer that needed to be defeated. It was going to involve Ike bringing Ragnell down on Roy in such a way that he broke a few bones, but I thought that might be too dark for a silly story like this.

More rivalry between Shulk and Dark Pit, and maybe even a resolution to that (but that seems like too much side tracking away from the main concept).

More Japanese progression made by the Robins (Figured that might be tedious).

A separate scene of Roy and the rejects doing stuff (But I figured it would be redundant).

But yeah, if you see something that I can improve on, and I know there are A LOT of things I might be missing, feel free to tell me about it!


End file.
